I am not use to being so distant from friends. It has been a tough time these past few weeks. I lost my job, however gained so much more in the process. I find myself still giving more strength than I am able to muster for myself. I see things slipping in and out of a reality that I have lived for eighteen years.

I do have a new reality and she stayed the night. Beautiful, blond hair, and the most deep blue eyes that a grandfather could swim another lifetime in. My first over-night with Lily and she took me so far away from my troubles. There was no other world as she listened to me sing this song. Her eyes widened and her smile relaxed into a gentle calm.

First night at gp's house, sleep did not come until 3 a.m., and for me not at all. The years have past like yesterday's tides and I am far away from the father instinct. The sun had not even peaked the eastern hills and I was poking a motionless baby, I forgot how they don't move when they sleep. She did finally open her eyes to a sunny day and a bright smile. She laid in the crib and waited as I made my first bottle in over 15 years. Before she got the bottle, there was the other thing I haven't done in a long time, and not with a baby girl...The diaper change! I got lucky this time, it was only wet.

Mom showed up about 20 minutes after Lily had to deal with grandpa's weird moments. I am grateful that her little angel wings didn't get caught in the diaper change, and do you remember how difficult it is to put their halo back on in the morning?

Enough from me, I got to go play somewhere else. Bless all of you and I will be back. BTW, Ron, you are putting out some great post, I just can't focus.

Love Y'all