I talked to my mom and two sisters today. They showed me pictures of family I don't know. I picked out my mom and my eldest sis, her youngest daughter and son. When it came to the woman hugging up to my mom, I did not know her. I wondered as it lowered my heart to think that I did not know my own sister.

It really hurt to realize I did not know my own sister, but it wasn't the look that shot me down. I talked to her and that was not the young woman I talked to a decade ago. Maybe it is the medicine she it taking but that was not "my little sister." I miss Patty, my baby sister (even though she is older) because she was everything in the end of my youth.

In the end I turned on my family and myself. It is a harsh statement but my family did not raise the man that stands before you. They are good people with there own lives; I on the other hand raise my hand to life and dare it to slap back.

I have done nothing but live, find fault in it, Lord.