This is so "Generation Lost" but I don't think anyone reads that and when I want to share it is for a reason. I only have so much time to resolve yesterday's sorrows. I never meant to pass on this facet of life to my son but he got it anyway. Our inheritance, sorrow and fore longing, or prolonging. Never seems to change when your heart longs for the love it gives.
Did you actually think that you had the corner market on love and acceptance? So did God! Rain, for forty days and nights and then try and find a grateful human; all you will find is greed in mankind. Fire and brimstone only warms a cold heart, it never thaws a cold past.
Over twenty years, Zac and I are more the same person than he wants to admit. He is starting to see we are not so different in all our actions. I see and hear him asking more about real things. I see him wanting to be back in life, yet I think he wants to see me do the same. I am "Bell Bottom Blues", wonder the "What ifs?" He is the shadow (Goth pants),and still the "what ifs?"
I don't want to leave him without him knowing how much I love this family, I never wanted to walk away. Zac is not just my son, he his hope. Zac is the next generation of "givers" not takers. Lily is future hope, but only with his love. I don't know how to tell him that.
I love our times together, however seldom, for they are drawing to an end.
You have to love the sunrise, for tomorrow is not promised, so we must live for today. Amen!
by AZRON (PM , CC ) on Sunday June 22, 2008 @ 3:38 PM
Well Ron, let's put it this way: Our day starts at 10pm, at 9:30pm we had hail, rain, and high winds. The story of my life! Would you like to guess who was out walking in that fun time? God, I love summer, and thank God for denim!
by Cuddle40 (PM , CC ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @ 5:44 AM
I worry, too, that my children's future will only be a repeat of mine. My mother worried that about us. You can only help it so much. I know that my children know how much I love and care about them...even though I get frustrated with them sometimes...those times when I feel like all I have been reduced to is a house elf.
If he moves on, he will remember a lot of things that you said and did...he will remember how you handled things and how strong you have been. That's what I remember about my parents.
by AZRON (PM , CC ) on Monday June 23, 2008 @ 9:44 AM
I do love those summer storms. I think you need to see how June feels about the concert, money is not an option if you have it and like the event. Kinda the love thing. If not the concert, maybe a good dinner and some music. Follow it up with a nice walk in the park or down Main street.
What ever you do, treat her nice, be the man you are.
by Cuddle40 (PM , CC ) on Tuesday June 24, 2008 @ 6:29 AM
When June comes back we will plan a nice evening out - as we have been apart for 2 weeks by the time she gets home. You are right - just a nice evening out...
by AZRON (PM , CC ) on Tuesday June 24, 2008 @ 9:45 AM
Good morning, Cuddle! I did want to make sure that I stopped in to say hello. Oh the world of parenting. Children see right into the heart and find our best qualities as well as well as those traits we'd really rather forget we have. Why do you suppose it is that I see the negative stuff repeating in the girls more than the things I really do want to pass on? How frustrating!
Human beings, even when we become parents just aren't supposed to be flawless. We do the best with what we've got and pray that it's enough especially when they learn to fly on their own.
Sure hope that you are having a good week, Cuddle. Take care! Sincerely ~Kenzie
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If you have not joined in, you are really missing out!
I hope that the sunrise tomorrow is the sign of new hope for all of you
peace
ron
P.S. You should so totally go to that concert.
If he moves on, he will remember a lot of things that you said and did...he will remember how you handled things and how strong you have been. That's what I remember about my parents.
Hmmm, just found out that those ticket prices are a bit rich for the blood....
ron
What ever you do, treat her nice, be the man you are.
cheers
ron
Human beings, even when we become parents just aren't supposed to be flawless. We do the best with what we've got and pray that it's enough especially when they learn to fly on their own.
Sure hope that you are having a good week, Cuddle. Take care!
Sincerely ~Kenzie