I walked away from yesterday and found an empty tomorrow. Seventeen years, eleven months, and four nights of dedication, laid in empty hopes and promises. I found myself walking a lonely path to nowhere as I left Wal-Mart. Departing this time was difficult, with its hardened and harsh treatment of associates, knowing I no longer could protect the ones I love. Shari could only walk with me for a short time as I said my good byes, hugging me between the passage of each friend. I continued to carry myself throughout the store, giving love to my family.

My son caught me on the way out of the store, just after the big "promise me hug" from Shari. He finally did it; he made me proud tremendously. He told me that he was going to look for another job because without me there it wasn't worth staying. Don't get me wrong, the first words out of my mouth was “Take care of your family before anyone else.” Zac understood and I left him with that knowledge. I grabbed my soda (pop for the rest of you), talked to two more associates, and then left for home.

I was not sure until yesterday, when I found out a few more facts, and then I realized what I should do to make things right, kind of a twist of fate on my own life. My life has changed in so many directions this week. I want to be here for Zac and Lilian and now I have a new challenge. Not only my own family but also I have been asked by her father and now by her to be the uncle to her child, her desire and his blessings. Of course, I said yes, she is a sweetie and I love kids.

I am having a hard time walking away when I walked into the store and was riddled with disbelief from other friends there, cannot wait for my next visit. If Wal-Mart would listen to the people, they employ then I would not be sitting here today. I walked into work to explain the injustice I was bound to for the sake of one man’s pride. I was denied even one word to clarify the events that lead up to this day. It was disrespectful to every associate and me, even when the store manager himself put me off for a week on this issue.

The issue was a review that I opposed. Wal-Mart says no retaliation for standing up for your rights, yet I am no longer there. My assistant manager defied Wal-Mart’s law and forced two consumable departments on me the entire week that I was waiting for a meeting with the store manager. By Thursday night I heard the assignments again, that was it. I told both of the assistants that I was going home and that I would talk to the store manager Friday. This brings us full circle on the event.

My last comment on this issue is when I was asked to do more, and I did. When I was asked to do even more, I did, until my health started failing. I told Glen of my health issues, which he admitted he doesn't understand, yet still pressed. There is more but I will leave it at this for now.

First, I would like to thank the few friends that helped me through yesterday. I did go to my doctor yesterday and was immediately spanked for staying away so long. Okay, not really but he might as well have giving me a good thrashing. I got the speech that my doctor loves to give. The whole "If you don't want to listen to me then why do you come?"

So far things don't look very pretty but I am not dead yet so you have to put up with me for a little longer. The doctor and I know where this is headed but he didn't see this one coming, I did. Do yourself a favor and never fib to your doctor, it will bite you in the butt.

So here are the rules again:

1) No drinking
2) No coffee or soda
3) No smoking
4) STOP STRESSING YOURSELF OUT!

I have to wait for some new results but my doctor can not figure out something else with me. I have this iron problem and when I change my diet it blocks me and starts a reflux problem.

Just thought I would let you know where I am today, BUT AS FAR AS LAST NIGHT, WOOHOO! Sorry but I got to play with Lily at work last night. Grandma Sheri and I took Lily on the big visit around the store. We took a very long lunch but it was fun for us and all the associates that miss their grandchildren or are wanting young ones of their own. Her white hair, blue eyes, and smile are to die for.

To keep it simple, life is still good.

I know you are all just cyber friends but I need an answer. What does it mean when you vomit and there is blood? I don't mean to gross anyone out but this is me, now.

We have all tried to reach outside of our own realm. I dreamed, at times that I was at the carnival. I opened the curtain and a woman would always welcome me home. I don't know this place, yet I know it better than my own life. This is a real dream and haunts me from time to time.

The first one I had was when I was four, then at six, and again at twelve. This dream has never stopped, I keep getting older and they treat me the same as I walk through the curtain. She keeps saying "where have you been?" the others greet me as a lost baby in their hands.

I know this is a short post but you need to think.

I talked to my mom and two sisters today. They showed me pictures of family I don't know. I picked out my mom and my eldest sis, her youngest daughter and son. When it came to the woman hugging up to my mom, I did not know her. I wondered as it lowered my heart to think that I did not know my own sister.

It really hurt to realize I did not know my own sister, but it wasn't the look that shot me down. I talked to her and that was not the young woman I talked to a decade ago. Maybe it is the medicine she it taking but that was not "my little sister." I miss Patty, my baby sister (even though she is older) because she was everything in the end of my youth.

In the end I turned on my family and myself. It is a harsh statement but my family did not raise the man that stands before you. They are good people with there own lives; I on the other hand raise my hand to life and dare it to slap back.

I have done nothing but live, find fault in it, Lord.