You thought right, today I am in a Blues mood. Erick has carried and walked me down many a bad days. God Knows he had his unfair share and bounced back. Keep on livein', that's all you can do.



I can't put off my coat in the middle of winter and I can't shake the blues when they take their place. All I can do is love the day and pray tomorrow offers another day.

Good Morning Starshine. I love you and miss every one of you as I try to get back to better. At times that means I need to regress to my former youth before life became real. I love to play and to this day a road trip is a day off. Love is different to everyone.

It has been so very long since we left the comfort of the valley and our loving families. Our need for special herbs and materials sent us on this voyage and our families were praying for a quick return. With every step we took we could feel them with us; their prayers were not just for us but the unity we all desired. The cooler days and autumn nights allowed the animals to travel with ease. The nights around the fire were filled with talk of our families and the long hot summer that brought us on this journey. Finn talked endlessly about his new wife and the baby that was soon to come. Many men sat by the fire warming themselves as they listened to his stories that made them long for home. We knew we would reach the Spires by night fall the following day and Finn was doing his best to take our mind off of Trenton and his men. There was a warm breeze drifting through the camp that night and our bones felt the pain of borrowed time.

First light found us well on our way to city beyond the Spires. Finn and I were talking about Jenny and Jacob when we noticed the billows of smoke coming from the distant village. The men hastened their pace and within hours we reached the village. On the edge of the marshlands stood Glade but it didn’t stand proud anymore. Glade was burned to the ground; ashes and smoke were all that was left of a city that once stood proud. The smoke traveled to the sky as the ashes fell upon our heads like snow without the cool and warming glow. The only thing let was the memories of times past when we would trade and take a meal on occasion. The people were gone along with all the animals, only a trail leading out of town reminded us that we needed to force on. There were no signs of a battle. It was if they knew what was about to happen and they themselves destroyed the village so there would be nothing left for Trenton. No matter what the reason was the question remained as to how an entire village disappears?

Daylight greeted us as we pressed on and along the way we saw a trail to the grove. Only the locals know of this path so I sent a group of men to explore as we traveled to White Sands to trade. The rain began to fall and the wagons bogged in the mud. The men were tired and we made camp with so little time to rest. The hunters made ready for the hunt day but they were even hunting in a protective mode. They saw the days to come and hunted for a long days night.

My thoughts go forward with Finn at my side. We see the smoke gently drifting on the now calm stream as we looked towards the Spire. I miss Jenny and Jacob but Finn takes me back to today and I can can smell them on the wind. Tomorrow we move farther away from the Spires but today I miss you.

I look at the pup and find myself wanting. I miss the man that now had to raise a pup on his own. Well to make it right, not on his own. I stand guard to make sure the family is okay. I feel the cry and stand guard, I see every moment. No harm touches the pride or my family and yet I protect.

It has been a rough week but I never stopped loving my kids. Little turkey was quiet this morning as I delivered gifts. I was quiet myself as I gave them the gifts and some food. I feel bad because everyone is giving to her and forgot them. They are trying to do it right on a single income. They have needs also and I am there like a good father would be. I can only hope that someday he will understand what I had to go through to get him to where he is.

I am the leader and I need to stand tall and brave. I protect the family and watch every move from a distance to make sure they are cared for. I love my little family but I am happy they have their own den for now. After all those years I am getting use to my quiet time. However I need to stop by and pick up my camera for some photos. I was in a bad way this morning and couldn't stay for a long visit but I left my camera to get so pictures for everyone. It wasn't as good as being there but it was great to see their smiles.

I only wish this week was better. The nerve in my back is pinched again and the pain is unbearable. I handle it because I have to work but it makes it hard. When I get to feeling this bad I get unfriendly, not mean just moody. My saving grace this week has been Lily. When I hurt I look at a picture of her or just think of holding her and I can carry on a little longer. This week I take baby steps.

I've been running so much lately but I love it. I took the last two days off to let them know what real life is about. It has been really hard to stay away but I know in my heart it is the right thing.

When I went to the hospital the other day Lilian was not in the room. Zac was in is chair and Bakura was resting in her bed as a soft glow from the lights warmed the room. Althouth my heart wanted to be with Lilian I was happy that she wasn't there. I was there with gifts and I wanted them to enjoy them. I guess being raised by my mother and four sisters I learned to get excited about the little things. Bakura adored the gifts and loved the dress. Zac was your typical male and had no feelings about any of it. I love the way he rushes up to take care of Lilian and has no idea what to do.

I can see how much Zac wanted to be daddy but has no idea how to do it. When I cams by the other day I noticed both of them watching as I stood there bouncing and swaying as we talked, I couldn't help myself. We talked about a lot of things and that made them happy. I had to use the blue bulb to clean her nose. They were both surprised to know what that little blue bulb did. I asked mom for it when Lilian had a snot full. She told me it was in the bucket but I went for the sink. Bakura said it was in the bucket but I needed to tell her that I a rag to wipe the snot on.

Everyone is doing well and I will see you soon with pictures.